March 03, 2012
Writing a Blog . . . Now That's Okay.
Just something about nothing.
Summoning the courage to get out of be in the morning, now that's hard.
Finding the strength to pour coffee, that's hard.
Eating burnt toast and realizing you actually have to live today, that's hard.
Reading a book, that's easy.
Watching TV, that's a little boring.
Sitting outside and drinking tea, that's fancy.
Wanting to talk and having no one's ear to borrow, that's tricky.
Noticing it is only half-past noon, that's horrible.
Breathing, that isn't so bad.
Eating ice cream, now that's wonderful with the right people.
Doing homework, that's terrible.
Petting cats, that's nice.
Smiling, that's worth it.
Crying, that hurts.
Being sad, that's all I kow how to do.
Playing the piano, that's pleasant.
Tuning in and out of your own thoughts, that's intense but rather interesting.
Perusing the dictionary, that's brilliant.
Travling to France, that's lovely.
Brushing your teeth, that's sort of long.
Brushing your hair, that's really annoying.
Planning out your near future in your head before you drift asleep at night, spectactular.
March 02, 2012
Things You Don't Want to Talk to Your Parents About
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Don't try to tell me what to say,
You're better off that way. . . .
This guilt trip that you put me on won't, mess me up I've done no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away
Don't try to tell me what to say,
You're better off that way. . . .
This guilt trip that you put me on won't, mess me up I've done no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away
- Avril Lavigne, Don't Tell Me
This song is about a boyfriend, but I do believe the lyrics aforementioned fit quite nicely to the average teenager's thoughts against his or her parents.
This is another great song by Kate Nash. It's called Mariella and is all about this little girl, Mariella of course, and how she is very unique and different . . . and her mother cannot stand it!
Please do this for me!"
Most people, and by most I really mean the majority, do no understand what anxiety or depression or worthlessness feels like. Therefore, I would like to off me being your adoptive parental unit. Contact me for help any time! (Contact info in the sidebar => )
So here are a few things you never want to talk to your parents about, and a few answers to those questions.
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| I just found this on Tumblr. This is how my legs looked almost nightly though, I'm better. Scarred, but no more bleeding for me! |
Cutting 411 (More like 911! . . . Ba dum tsss)
Question #1: Why should I stop cutting if it helps? It's not too deep. Just a little scratch.
- It is never just a little scratch. It will multiply
- Your skin is not all you have to worry about. Cutting causes a lot of self-conscienceness about your body, which is just another worry you do not need!
- You might be planning a small scratch, but the razor slips. You can cut so deep you bleed out. You can't be stitched up if cut in a certain orientation (I will no be telling you this).
- No matter the size, you are prone to infections, some are even fatal.
Question #2: Regardless of my current cutting habits, how can I hide my scars from everyone?
- Honestly, I don't want to answer this. I'd rather you stop because you can't have people see them. And quite truthfully, there is no way to hide them. Some day, you will have them seen, or at least questioned.
- Long sleeves work well, but avoid wearing them in hot climates; questions may be asked.
- Bracelets! Lots of bracelets! Stack them up!
- Jackets. This shows you can take it off and be cooler, but still supplies the cover up.
- Rub a cut up lemon across your scars daily. It really works!
- Once legal, I'm getting a tattoo across my wrist. I'll see it anytime I'm triggered. Photo below!
Question #3: How can I stop cutting? I'm ready for help!
- I quit cold turkey (such an unflattering expression). It was tough, but I liked it. I stopped the moment I realized I was bleeding more than ever before. I counted it day by day. I made myself wear shorts and short sleeves; my body open for all approving eyes. I will admit to giving in occasionally, even now, but very rarely. I stopped officially, I say, in October--towards the end. I think I have a small relapse every month. Mostly just one little "session". My most previous was actually Sunday. I didn't cut, but I chewed my lip till I bled.
- Think of how nice it will be to have normal clothing! You might have to pick your wedding dress around your scars! That would be the pits! How will you tell your kids? What happens if your mom walks in on your changing--or anyone, for that matter? You will have to explain the scars.
- Won't you be proud to have accomplished something that once seemed just so damn implausible?
Relationships in the 21st Century: From "Courting" to "FWB"
Question #1: He wants to fool around only. Is that okay?
-Absolutely never ever do this. Promising, one person always ends up hurt.
- If it's your first time to do anything, don't you want to share it with someone special?
- I don't care who denies it, you will never be comfortable friends again. It will always be shifty eyes and interests in one's shoes.
- You can end up with some sort of STD, and you most certainly don't want one if it wasn't even for someone worth it!
- Boys are boys. He will mostly likely tell his friends and the word will get out. Trust me.
Question #2: How do I know if I should break up with him?
- I have a rather interesting checklist to know if he's wrong or staying strong:- Does he make you laugh?
- Do you trust him around other girls? (All. Not just that one girl.)
- Do you have fights more than once every two weeks? Not bickers. Fights.
- Do you like the same music?
- Do you like the same movies?
- Does he make you feel bright?
- Do you guys get to do goofy things?
- Do you think he just smells lovely?
- Do you see yourself with him next year?
- Does he make you sad?
Question #3: Am I ready for sex?- Do you love him?
- Are you ready to support a child if you happen to have one?
- Will he stay with you if he is the father?
- Do you want to? Or does he?
- Are you knowledgeable on safety? STDs and HIV? Do you understand how you can get pregnant?
Friends or as Annoying as the Bends?
Question #1: She was telling someone something I didn't give her permission to share. Now it's a rumor circling the school!
-Was she talking about you behind your back? That isn't a friendly thing to do! But if she was asking for advice, and the other person exaggerated it to a rumor, that isn't so bad. You both need to talk about it and decide how to react comfortably.
Question #2: We like the same guy!
- Some argue that DIBS! is the best determination. I think neither of you should make a move before one of you are over him. Make sure she is okay with this!
Question #3: Best friends--Can't talk openly?
- Been friends since elementary school? You feel obligated to be friends. Never! If you can't talk, then you can't be friends. Friends are real.
- Ask them to open up. If they seem agitated, give them some space.
- Seek trust in her. Open up a little at a time.
- If you can't trust them, you need to tell them.
It isn't easy to talk to parents, but you should try it some time.
February 28, 2012
Coffee and Cigarettes and Anorexia
Coffee and Cigarettes are best when shared with you. We'll go to Waffle House or your mom's house,
So, this blog post is going out to disorders evoked by society. I feel it is only right to use a quote from Demi Lovato's song Lightweight. This song mostly comes across as a love song. However, with farther investigation, I do believe it has a lot to do with society (afterall, songs mean something else to every listener). I believe Demi is the object of society. She loves society by means of appreciation, because it tells her where she is in life. It tells her if she is too thin, too fat, too ugly, too stupid. And therefore, it doesn't let her "fall", because she thinks it is nice having a constant telling her what she needs to do to become more popular.
This is actually unfortunate. While it seems like having something telling you what you could do to be better, its term of "better" is more like "unhealthy but worth it*". She loves the way society makes her feel, because it helps her be more comfortable in her actions. However, with few words, society hurts her and causes her to feel broken (AKA, starved from BDD).
You sit on the curb and cry. McDonald's is across the road from you, and you can't resist. Eating your feelings? You were taught how to do that. Don't think it's nataural. When sad, you recieved candy as a kid. Your mom showed you how chocolate releases endorfens when you hit puberty. You know comfort in food. Before you know it, you've downed a whole large strawberry malt.
You are beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. You never need to change your looks for anyone. You don't need to harm yourself for beauty when you already have it. I don't care how heavy you see yourself, you're gorgeous and perfect. Don't waste away for nothing. Don't you dare.
and share a cup or two. Yeah, I have friends, but they have friends, and they have parties, and I'm so akward. So what do you say, just as friends, we see a movie this weekend, alright?
Okay. - Coffee and Cigarettes by NeverShoutNever
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| Guitarist other brother this past Summer<3 |
Well, this idea isn't exactly mine. I've decided to start adding a few song lyrics in here. Music is a ginormous part of my life (as I play the piano and grew up surrounded by my brother's instruments of all sorts), so I think it is only logical to post some of the words that have created a big impact, support, or just down right happiness for me.
Now, this idea did come partially from The OCD Diaries' Mood Music.
So, this blog post is going out to disorders evoked by society. I feel it is only right to use a quote from Demi Lovato's song Lightweight. This song mostly comes across as a love song. However, with farther investigation, I do believe it has a lot to do with society (afterall, songs mean something else to every listener). I believe Demi is the object of society. She loves society by means of appreciation, because it tells her where she is in life. It tells her if she is too thin, too fat, too ugly, too stupid. And therefore, it doesn't let her "fall", because she thinks it is nice having a constant telling her what she needs to do to become more popular.
This is actually unfortunate. While it seems like having something telling you what you could do to be better, its term of "better" is more like "unhealthy but worth it*". She loves the way society makes her feel, because it helps her be more comfortable in her actions. However, with few words, society hurts her and causes her to feel broken (AKA, starved from BDD).
(Here, I have italicized the words I believe show how society hurts her.)
I'm a lightweight,
Better be careful what you say.
With every word
I'm blown away.
You're in control of my heart.
I'm a lightweight,
Easy to fall, easy to break.
With every move my whole world shakes.
Keep me from falling apart. . . .
Could this really be
A safe place to fall? . . .
Do you even know
How you make me weak?
Me: Where have all the flowers gone?
Society: We have a great variety of pollen free roses.
Me: Where have all the fathers gone?
Society: Women can do everything a man can.
Me: Where has all the talent gone?
Society: You have more flexibility with synthesizers and animation, you know.
Me: Where has all the color gone?
Society: It's only black and white arguments now, deer.
Me: Where has all the food gone?
Society: There's a fast food resaurant just down the street.
Me: Where has all the brilliance gone?
Society: This is Google, Bing, eHow, Wikipedia, Ask, and Yahoo. Take your pick.
Me: Where have all the words gone?
Society: Texting is much faster.
Me: Where have all the people gone?
Society: Plastic is perfect.
When you think you're fat, your first instict is do anythign to get thin. Hasn't everyone heard of survival of the fittest?
You really just need to go to a friend. On the way to their house, you pass up a CVS with magazines in the window.
101 Sex Tips to Make Any Man Love You The Low-Cal Diet for J.LO's Body!
Next Top Model Auditions Near You Fab-Ab February: Making Boys Love Youe
How to get the Blonde Hair Guys Can't Resist Pain is Beauty: 5 in. Heels at Urban Now
You sit on the curb and cry. McDonald's is across the road from you, and you can't resist. Eating your feelings? You were taught how to do that. Don't think it's nataural. When sad, you recieved candy as a kid. Your mom showed you how chocolate releases endorfens when you hit puberty. You know comfort in food. Before you know it, you've downed a whole large strawberry malt.
You feel sick. You look down and imagine your thighs already closing the gap between them. You rush to the bathroom with your finger wiggling down your throat.
Pain but for no gain.
ANOREXIA NERVOSA, BULIMIA NERVOSA, BINGE EATING WILL DESTROY YOU.
Inside to the outside, from body to brains, you will be ruined.
Long terms effects include:
Kidney failure. Liver failure.
Blurred vision. Cataracts.
Blurred vision. Cataracts.
Loss of voice. Chronic sore throats.
Esophogus damage. Esophogas rupture (100% fatal, severely painful).
Infertility. Miscarriages.
Brain damage. Bipolar disorder.
Serotonin deficiency syndrome. Chronic back pain.
Chronic bone pain. Heart attacks.
GAD; generalized anxiety disorder. Hypoglycemia.
Diabetes. Arthritis.
Ruptured colon (usually fatal). Loss of teeth.
Alopecia (baldness). Dry skin.
Skin disorders. Low blood sugar.
Rotting teeth. Pain in ribcage when breathing (caused by tight skin).
You are beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. You never need to change your looks for anyone. You don't need to harm yourself for beauty when you already have it. I don't care how heavy you see yourself, you're gorgeous and perfect. Don't waste away for nothing. Don't you dare.
You're here for something. Food is here to eat. And gag reflexes are to prevent choking, not induce vomitting.
You have big things planned for you. You are amazing and so much stronger than imaginable.
You've got this, deer.
Be Strong.
For Me?
Please.
You can always message me on Tumblr or . . . anywhere(:
CHECK OUT THESE AMAZING ANA/MIA/BDD VIDEOS FROM YOUTUBE:
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